Sometimes, It Doesn't Feel so Sweet to Trust in Jesus!

This past Sunday, our pastor and worship team did an amazing job leading our church in worship through the story of Abraham and Isaac. I have included the link below, so you can access the service in its entirety, if you desire.

http://media.northwestbible.org/?CFID=3660388&CFTOKEN=16569851

Let me start by saying, I feel blessed to attend a church where our pastor is uniquely sensitive and aware of the real life topics and pain his congregants face while putting faith into practice. I don’t know if it is because of personal experiences or because God has granted him supernatural vision and empathy to see the struggle behind the faces he serves, but he is gifted in addressing pain and personal conflict. Shockingly, I never feel as though he throws out flippant “Sunday School” answers, but he also does not shy away from acknowledging life’s difficulty head on. My “felt” personal problem J is that as my pastor addresses these issues, God often taps me on the shoulder and begins to speak. This was particularly true of this past Sunday’s service, as God began to actively move in me.

I am going to start with a little background information, so you will understand where I am coming from…

This past year, my husband has been applying for PhD programs across the country for the 2^nd time, because he was not accepted to pursue his dream of continued study, so as to teach New Testament within a secular setting, last year. In addition, I miscarried 3 times, limiting at least for now, my/our dream to be parents and expand our family. At this point in time, it feels like an understatement to say we are in a holding pattern, waiting on God.

This mornings sermon included two examples, the loss of one’s dream to teach and the death of one’s child, so I may have taken the sermon a little more seriously than most, but none the less, I have been pondering not just a man’s sermon, but what the Lord is asking of me/us, since that time.

The last song on Sunday was Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus. I know God will continue to work on me this upcoming week and in the weeks following, but in that moment I was just plain mad. I told my husband over lunch – sometimes, it doesn’t feel so sweet to trust in Jesus. And as I continued to verbally process I ask questions like, why would we logically put ourselves through what God asks of us? It doesn’t make ANY sense… we are suppose to surrender everything, and God doesn’t even promise to make the situation better. In fact, it might actually get worse! Why would we sign up for that, and why would we CONTINUE to sign up for that? To be honest, I don’t have the right “Sunday School” answers to these questions, nor do I care to possess them. What I do care about (and what I know I desperately need) is to experience what made God so real, so awesome, and so deserving that Abraham was willing to surrender Isaac.

As tears are welling in my eyes, I will simply conclude with the following personal objectives.

Today’s Focus:

1. Read Genesis 22 and journal the following questions:

· Observe and list what God was saying to Abraham?

· Observe and list what was involved/included in the sacrifice of Isaac?

· Ask what God is saying to me through Abraham’s story?

· Ask what "Isaac" God is asking me to surrender?

2. Spend time in the Lord’s presence ~ Wait, Listen, and Watch with Him.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for He is with me; His rod and His staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4

3. Listen to Natalie Grant’s You Deserve, and Worship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHbLRBsyu3k

4. Listen to Donnie McClurkin’s I will Trust You, and Continue to Trust Him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-iTDdQquWk&feature=related

Lyrics are as follows:

I know that faith is easy when everything is going well
But can you still believe in Me when your life's a living hell?
And when all the things around you seem to quickly fade away
There's just one thing I really want to know

Will you let go? (I'll trust you, Lord)
Will you stand on My word? (I'll trust you, Lord)
Against all odds will you believe what I have said? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What seems impossible ... (I'll trust You, Lord)
Will you believe? (I'll trust You, Lord)
Every promise that I made will you receive? (Yes, I will trust You, Lord)

I know how bad it hurt you when that loved one's life came to an end
And when they had to leave you, you said you'd never love again
But will you trust that I can help you and I'll never turn away?
Will you trust Me, child, no matter, come what may?

What if it hurts? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What if you cry? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What if it doesn't work out the first time that you try? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What if you call My name ... (I'll trust You, lord)
And you don't feel Me near? (I'll trust You, Lord)
Will you believe in Me or will you fear? Oh, my child?
(Yes, I will trust, You Lord)
I will trust