This Past Sunday

This past Sunday, I heard one of the most challenging and encouraging sermons concerning the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel. As you can imagine, every word grabbed my attention. If any of you reading have been struggling with: waiting, infertility, loss, or surrender... Take about 30 min. and listen to the following link.

http://media.northwestbible.org/readlistenrespond_OT/SpeakingToGod.mp3

It will be worth the listen.

Forgiveness and Justice, Two Separate Issues

This past week I read a statement on Facebook that grabbed my attention: “to forgive is to see that you do not desire to have power over the offender (that is, that you do not desire even justice).” I imagine I could stop right here, ask for comments, and fill a page. I suppose the responses would range from thankful, unbelieving, angry, confused, defeated, frustrated, and so on, for much emotion could be wrapped into this one sentence.

Let’s start with the first phrase, which for our purposes we will separate, assuming it was the original and intended thought – “to forgive is to see that you do not desire to have power over the offender.” “To forgive is to see that you do not desire to have power over the offender.” I take this to mean one makes forgiveness their personal responsibility and purpose, even to the extinct as they refuse to hold the offense over the offender. WOW ~ what a powerful, difficult, and often un-attempted task.

We could spend an eternity on the need and freedom of forgiveness (and I intend to address this issue separately within a later post), but what grabbed my attention most was the addition of this statement – “that is, that you do not desire even justice.” Yikes! From a counseling and theological standpoint the attachment of dismissing justice, even the desire for justice, as a part of the complete forgiveness process is alarming. I admit this is unhealthy fallacy has for some time ignited by my personal passion, and in this case leads me to reissue an old quote from my papaw – hogwash!

What I hope to do in this post is present a more balanced and Biblical response to the matter of forgiveness and justice. #1.) Forgiveness and Justice are two separate issues, #2.) Acknowledging our need/desire for justice is not only healthy but reality, #3) Desiring justice is a reflection of God’s character in us.

Terms defined:

Forgiveness - the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

Justice - the concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, law, natural law, religion, fairness, or equity, along with the punishment of the breach of said ethics.

As seen above, one can forgive and cease to demand punishment, while the standard of justice remain broken and in need of consequence. What I mean to say is that one issue does not hinge, connect, or depend on the other. We can forgive an offense and justice seemingly never be granted, while at the same time justice may occur without forgiveness ever taking place. Additionally, while forgiveness may not demand the response of justice, this does not mean that forgiveness ceases to desire justice, and vise versa… one receiving justice may desire forgiveness but this does not mean that forgiveness will ever be granted.

Biblical Reference:

Throughout the book of Psalms, David laments even begs for God’s justice on evil doers (see Ps. 109, Ps. 69:27-28, Ps. 139:19-22). Often in seemingly harsh and ungodly ways, and yet he was referred to as a man after God’s own heart (I Sam. 13:13-14).

Counseling Perspective:

“not to even desire justice” alludes to an idea of dismissing or denying one’s personal feeling or emotional need. Emotional denial may help with surviving the immediate crisis, but it will never lead into moving past pain into freedom.

God knows how you feel and what you need and is able to carry the full weight of your emotions. Just don’t stop short, with vision directed toward the person/place your feelings originated, instead look toward The One who can release you from the weight of these emotions. {The Hiding Place, p. 205 – Betsie saw where I was looking and laid a bird then hand over the whip mark. “Don’t look at it, Corrie. Look at Jesus only.” She drew away her hand: it was sticky with blood.}

Biblical Reference:

The need for Christ’s death on the cross WAS JUSTICE, to erase the desire/need for justice is dismiss the magnitude of our sin, the magnificence of Christ’s sacrifice and redemptive work on the cross, but also part of God’s very character (see Deut. 32:4, “the Rock! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.”) In other words, we cannot only trust God to act justly, but His very essence is just.

Counseling Perspective:

As image bearers of God’s character (see Gen 1:26-27, Col. 3:10, James 3:9), I believe we can conclude that we were designed to also desire justice.

However, a great dilemma unfolds here in that we are only image bearers of God, not God Himself. Therefore, desire justice – YES. Request justice – absolutely. Determine what is just – too great a task. Take justice into your own hands – leads only to greater sin. Release and trust justice into God’s sovereign control and righteous character – the only way we are freed from anger, bitterness, hostility, self-righteousness, and/or entitlement. {The Hiding Place, p. 194 – It grew harder and harder. Even within these four walls there was too much misery, too much seemingly pointless suffering. Every day something else failed to make sense, something else grew too heavy. “Will you carry this too, Lord Jesus?}

So to bring this response to a close, I believe it is not only possible but necessary for one to walk in forgiveness (even release the “right” for justice or recompense to occur) and yet desire justice. Because, forgiveness and justice are two separate issues, acknowledging our need/desire for justice is not only healthy but reality, and desiring justice is a reflection of God’s character in us.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. ~ Phil 4:8-9

May we NEVER stop desiring justice!

Jealous Anyone?

I am going to just jump right in on this post because, to be honest, there is just no palatable way to discuss the issue of jealousy. There is also no way I can avoid addressing the topic, especially while acknowledging issues related to infertility. So, let’s just go ahead and get into the down and dirty of the whole situation!

· Another friend called last night and told you she is pregnant, and a part of you wants to throw the phone across the room and scream “WHY NOT ME”!?!

· You receive yet another, of what feels like a 1,000, baby shower invitations, and you fall to the ground sobbing, overwhelmed with the thought that a baby may never be in your future.

· While perusing Facebook you notice most of your friends are working on their “next” baby and building onto their already existing families (as you sit on the couch, wishing, enviously, sinking into a pit of gloom).

· And I won’t even mention Mother’s Day & baby dedications, right?

But if I am honest with myself and you, I know I have felt these feelings before. I mean seriously, think about it. There were brand name whatevers in Jr. High/ High School, the GPA, boyfriend, & reputation of college, then there was grad-school, the perfect internship, or job after college, and now it is houses, babies, and on and on it goes. My mom has been known to say, “as you get older the toys just get bigger (maybe a little more serious), but the desire is still pretty much the same... I want what she has!” Maybe my mom has a point.

Somehow in the midst of me not getting what I want, I begin to think; “if she didn’t get _____, I might have a shot at getting ______.” I am sure we all know logically this is not the case (God has not run out of the babies HE CREATES), but somehow it just feels like when someone else gets a blessing ~ God has one less blessing for grabs. Hummm… Sounds a little bit like control, right? When will I get it??? God does not play favorites, God does not run out of good gifts for His children (Matt. 7:9-11), and I CANNOT CONTROL THIS/HIS PLAN (Prov. 16:9)!

As I sit here tonight, three stories immediately came to mind of human beings in scripture who compared their situation to others, and you want to know the weirdest thing? They shared their life, expectations, and feelings of being overlooked with GOD & Jesus Himself… Now that takes guts! I wonder what He would say to me if I did the same?

Cain

3 So it came about in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the LORD of the fruit of the ground. 4 Abel, on his part also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and for his offering; 5 but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell. 6 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” 8 Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. ~ Genesis 4:3-8

Martha

38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her. ~Luke 10:38-42

Peter

After breakfast… Jesus said, signifying by what kind of death he (Peter) would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me! 20 Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; the one who also had leaned back on His bosom at the supper and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” 21 So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!” ~John 21:19-22

I see three ways the above passages connect when dealing with comparison and jealousy. In fact, it is almost like God was trying to say something to me – HA.

Today's Focus:

• My Countenance is My Choice – Countenance can be defined as; 1) the appearance of the human face, 2) ones demeanor, OR 3) to favor/ approve. Personally, I see a strong connection between the power of YOUR choice (mentioned 5x), in controlling your countenance, AND the behavior that follows.

• Keep my eye on the prize (JESUS) -
Only one thing is necessary (only one thing actually helps), sitting in Jesus presence.

• Stop turning back to look/ask about other people – God wants to talk with me about what He wants me to do/be not what He wants other people to do/be.

Excerpt from, The Boy and His Horse by C.S. Lewis:

“I do think” said Shasta, “that I must be the most unfortunate boy that ever lived in the whole world. Everything goes right for everyone except me.”

(He then notices something walking beside him in the dark)

“Who are you?!”

“One who has waited long for you to speak,”

“You’re not something dead are you? Oh please-please go away. What harm have I ever done you? Oh, I am the unluckiest person in the whole world!”

Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and face.

“There” it said, “that is not the breath of a ghost. Tell me your sorrows.”

(And Shasta continues to tell him, all that has gone wrong).

…I do not call you unfortunate,” said the Large Voice.

“Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet with so many lions?” Said Shasta.

“There was only one lion.” Said the Voice.

“What on earth do you mean? I’ve just told you there were at least two the first night, and-“

“There was only one: but he was swift of foot.”

“How do you know?”

“I was the lion.” And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued.

“I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”

“Then it was you who wounded Aravis?”

“It was I.”

“But what for?”

“Child,” Said the Voice, “I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.”

Let's Take a Breather

On the Lighter Side… And I do NOT mean nutritionally! I have been meaning to write something where we can catch our breaths for a minute. So, here it is!

Last night, I made what was quite possibly the best dinner of all time. I know not everyone enjoys cooking as a pass time, but for those of you who do or for those who are interested in tickling someone’s taste buds, I have included the recipes below. By the way, Tim said this was his new favorite meal, so not bad for a nights work.

*For my readers who do not often cook, you might want to prepare your meal in the following order so every dish is hot and ready at the same time… Put the potatoes in the oven 1^st, move to preparing and cooking the chicken 2^nd, prepare biscuit mixture and cover loosely with saran wrap until ready to bake 3^rd, chop veggies & mince/sauté garlic for veggies 4^th, SET TABLE including toppings for potatoes 5^th, spoon out biscuit mixture and put into oven 6^th, finish final stage of sautéing veggies 7^th, serve and enjoy!!!

Chicken And Bacon Wrap

Ingredients:

• 4 chicken breasts, skinless, boneless
• 4 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 4 ounces of mozzarella shredded cheese
• 6 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 ½ cups of raw spinach, chopped
• 2 Tbsp diced jalapeños
• 8 slices bacon
• Season-all to taste

Directions:
Put Spinach with a little bit of water in the microwave for 30 sec. or until limp.

Mix cheese, garlic, spinach, and jalapeños together.

Pound the chicken breasts with mallet, but make sure you use wax paper underneath and on top of the chicken before pounding the chicken.

Spoon cheese mixture into chicken and wrap chicken around mixture. Then wrap chicken with two slices of bacon on each breast using toothpicks to hold the chicken wrap together. Sprinkle seasoning (salt & pepper) all over the chicken breasts.

Put the chicken in a baking dish that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray and cook at 375 for 45 minutes.

Kathrin Y./Paula Dean Cheddar Biscuits

Ingredients:

• 1 cup buttermilk
• 1/4 stick butter, melted
• 3/4 cup grated sharp Cheddar
• 1/3 cup shortening
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 cup self-rising flour *(Newer cooks - this is different than regular All-Purpose Flour).

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a medium bowl, mix flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt together using a fork; cut in shortening until it resembles cornmeal. Add cheese. Stir in buttermilk all at 1 time just until blended. Do not over stir. Drop by tablespoonfuls, or use an ice cream scoop, onto a well greased baking sheet. Brush dough with melted butter. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes.

Sides:

Baked Potato

Wrap in foil and bake for 3 hours at 350 degrees F.

*Serve w/ butter, shredded cheddar cheese, sour cream, and sliced green onions!

Broccoli & Asparagus (LaDuni Style)

Ingredients:

• 4 cloves of garlic
• ½ tsp. of crushed red pepper
• 1 bunch of asparagus
• 1 bunch of broccoli
• ½ fresh lemon

Directions:

Mince 4 cloves of garlic, sauté w/ olive oil and a few dashes of crushed red pepper for 1-2 min., move skillet to back burner & proceed with the following: wash and slice both broccoli & asparagus, boil for 3 min. (or until barely bright green but crisp), drain & remove to skillet, sauté for 2 min. in garlic mixture, sprinkle with fresh lemon juice, salt & pepper to taste.

Dessert:

Have Tim come over and make his delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies (Santa & Mrs. Claus Style… Milk Chocolate for Him, White Chocolate for Her)!!!

Sometimes, It Doesn't Feel so Sweet to Trust in Jesus!

This past Sunday, our pastor and worship team did an amazing job leading our church in worship through the story of Abraham and Isaac. I have included the link below, so you can access the service in its entirety, if you desire.

http://media.northwestbible.org/?CFID=3660388&CFTOKEN=16569851

Let me start by saying, I feel blessed to attend a church where our pastor is uniquely sensitive and aware of the real life topics and pain his congregants face while putting faith into practice. I don’t know if it is because of personal experiences or because God has granted him supernatural vision and empathy to see the struggle behind the faces he serves, but he is gifted in addressing pain and personal conflict. Shockingly, I never feel as though he throws out flippant “Sunday School” answers, but he also does not shy away from acknowledging life’s difficulty head on. My “felt” personal problem J is that as my pastor addresses these issues, God often taps me on the shoulder and begins to speak. This was particularly true of this past Sunday’s service, as God began to actively move in me.

I am going to start with a little background information, so you will understand where I am coming from…

This past year, my husband has been applying for PhD programs across the country for the 2^nd time, because he was not accepted to pursue his dream of continued study, so as to teach New Testament within a secular setting, last year. In addition, I miscarried 3 times, limiting at least for now, my/our dream to be parents and expand our family. At this point in time, it feels like an understatement to say we are in a holding pattern, waiting on God.

This mornings sermon included two examples, the loss of one’s dream to teach and the death of one’s child, so I may have taken the sermon a little more seriously than most, but none the less, I have been pondering not just a man’s sermon, but what the Lord is asking of me/us, since that time.

The last song on Sunday was Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus. I know God will continue to work on me this upcoming week and in the weeks following, but in that moment I was just plain mad. I told my husband over lunch – sometimes, it doesn’t feel so sweet to trust in Jesus. And as I continued to verbally process I ask questions like, why would we logically put ourselves through what God asks of us? It doesn’t make ANY sense… we are suppose to surrender everything, and God doesn’t even promise to make the situation better. In fact, it might actually get worse! Why would we sign up for that, and why would we CONTINUE to sign up for that? To be honest, I don’t have the right “Sunday School” answers to these questions, nor do I care to possess them. What I do care about (and what I know I desperately need) is to experience what made God so real, so awesome, and so deserving that Abraham was willing to surrender Isaac.

As tears are welling in my eyes, I will simply conclude with the following personal objectives.

Today’s Focus:

1. Read Genesis 22 and journal the following questions:

· Observe and list what God was saying to Abraham?

· Observe and list what was involved/included in the sacrifice of Isaac?

· Ask what God is saying to me through Abraham’s story?

· Ask what "Isaac" God is asking me to surrender?

2. Spend time in the Lord’s presence ~ Wait, Listen, and Watch with Him.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for He is with me; His rod and His staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4

3. Listen to Natalie Grant’s You Deserve, and Worship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHbLRBsyu3k

4. Listen to Donnie McClurkin’s I will Trust You, and Continue to Trust Him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-iTDdQquWk&feature=related

Lyrics are as follows:

I know that faith is easy when everything is going well
But can you still believe in Me when your life's a living hell?
And when all the things around you seem to quickly fade away
There's just one thing I really want to know

Will you let go? (I'll trust you, Lord)
Will you stand on My word? (I'll trust you, Lord)
Against all odds will you believe what I have said? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What seems impossible ... (I'll trust You, Lord)
Will you believe? (I'll trust You, Lord)
Every promise that I made will you receive? (Yes, I will trust You, Lord)

I know how bad it hurt you when that loved one's life came to an end
And when they had to leave you, you said you'd never love again
But will you trust that I can help you and I'll never turn away?
Will you trust Me, child, no matter, come what may?

What if it hurts? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What if you cry? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What if it doesn't work out the first time that you try? (I'll trust You, Lord)
What if you call My name ... (I'll trust You, lord)
And you don't feel Me near? (I'll trust You, Lord)
Will you believe in Me or will you fear? Oh, my child?
(Yes, I will trust, You Lord)
I will trust

From Tragedy to Job

Last week, an old family friend of ours experienced a severe motorcycle accident. A woman ran a red light, hit him on his motorcycle, and he consequently suffered two broken femurs, one amputated leg, multiple breaks below the remaining knee, one broken wrist, one broken thumb, the permanent loss of his vision, and multiple other scraps and bruises.

I have not seen this man in person since I was probably 13, but when I walked into his room, with no vision, he knew who I was. In the midst of agonizing pain, he tried to ask what was going on in my life and how our family was doing. He talked of how he had been praying for my sister and how thankful/proud he was of my brother for allowing God to move in his life. He bragged to his sister-in-law of my attendance in seminary, and all between moans of excruciating pain.

(Let me break in to say, I don’t consider myself an emotional person. Moody – yes, but emotional – no. I am the kid that LOVED to visit the hospital and nursing homes with my dad when I was little. However, I was so overcome with emotion at this man’s bedside that I passed out. Talk about embarrassing – I am there to encourage him and he ends up encouraging me as I stagger out the door!)

I spent quite a bit of time after my visit remembering what had made this man so special to me and my family. I remembered this man truly loved Jesus and people, he was always positive and encouraging, and he was a blessing and delight to encounter. Here is what I noticed last week at his bedside, while in terrible pain… He STILL loved Jesus and people, he was STILL positive and encouraging, and he was STILL a blessing and delight to be around! Interesting?!?!?

I have not been able to get this friend and his situation out of my mind since last Tuesday. In fact, I have been somewhat consumed. I am not really sure why other than I was so amazed with the genuineness of who he is IN CHRIST! If I were in that type of pain I do not think I would have been gracious to the doctor, but he was. If I were in that type of pain, I doubt I would have been asking about his family, but he ask about mine. If I were in that type of pain, I would probably be demanding and self-focused, but he remained humble and thankful.

For the first time in a long time, I was tempted to say WHY, God? Why does this man have to suffer? Why does someone who has loved You and served You faithfully have to hurt like this?

I think the reason this particular situation hit me so hard, was that he was on staff with my dad at a church where some really horrible things happened to me – this man, my dad, and a few other ministers were the “good guys.” The men who just put their heads down, loved Jesus, and served others. And it just didn’t seem fair that the minister who had hurt me wasn’t the one in the hospital bed missing a leg.

In response to my questioning, I believe this is what God keeps bringing to my mind:

As I have worked through counseling over the years, with respect to the hurts that occurred at that church, God has given me a very clear picture… On one side of a line is me as a child and the minister who hurt me, on the other side of the line is God holding an older version of me, safe and sound. God laid on my heart a long time ago, that because of sin that minister had access to my body, but He (God) always held a line that minister could not cross. God always held the best part of me, and Satan and in all his might could not cross that line and take what God had said he could not have!

The same is true of our family friend… GOD HAS DRAWN A LINE (I don’t know where and it may not be where I would choose, but He has drawn a line none the less). Satan and all his might cannot cross a line God draws. It may seem like Satan has an all-access pass, but he doesn’t! GOD DRAWS AND HOLDS THE LINE OF… ENOUGH, and that line Satan cannot and will not cross!

I know, I know – some of you (if I actually have any readers, other than my parents) are gagging right now. No doubt questions are coming circling the “WHY” word. Why does God allow pain? Why does God allow Sin? If God is all-loving, then why does He allow us to hurt? Comment away and I will do my best to address what I can. But for the time being, here is an example of where God drew a line Satan could not cross:

Job 1 ~

“One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

“Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. ¹¹ But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”

Where was the line? Job’s life was the line!

We may not have the answers we want, and the line may not be where we would choose, but I find comfort in knowing God does have ultimate control. I don’t know what the upcoming months have in store for our dear friend, but this one thing I know… God has drawn a line Satan CANNOT cross! God will be faithful, and I trust God will move beyond our friends furthest expectation and need. But what I am claiming is the fact that God will hold the line of “enough” for His beloved.

Today’s Focus:

1. Remember God makes and holds the line of ENOUGH.

"And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor. 10:13

2. Claim the following promise for our friend.

“Never have I seen the righteous forsaken, or their seed begging for bread.” Ps. 37:25

3. Pray for our friend to see and know God even more during this difficult time.

“Before my ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You.” Job 1:6-12

Waiting Well

One of my most favorite quotes is from Oswald Chambers,

"God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision... So, that He might trust us with the reality of the vision."

(My Upmost for His Highest - July 6)

I cannot be certain, but I am pretty sure the following Biblical heroes would agree with Oswald’s idea of being given a vision and then waiting out a valley experience for the Vision to Become Reality.

Noah: was asked to build an ark *(when he had never seen rain), and then WAITED IN THE MIDST OF MOCKERY 120 years for the great flood to occur.

Abraham & Sarah: received a promise that the number of stars in the heavens would represent the number of their descendants, and then WAITED AGAINST ALL LOGICAL HOPE until Abraham was 100 before their 1st child was born.

Joseph: was given a vision of influence and then WAITED AFTER BEING BETRAYED BY THOSE CLOSEST TO HIM throughout his youth, slavery, and imprisonment before he was promoted to a position of prestige.

Moses: felt called to rescue Israel from bondage, and then WAITED in the desert 40 years FOR THE DIRECTION AND CALL OF GOD.

Moses: felt called to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land, and then WAITED 40 years UNTIL THE HEARTS OF THE PEOPLE WERE PREPARED.

Esther: was married off to an older man, from another culture, and given a death sentence... then WAITED FOR GOD'S TIMING AND ANOINTING to be called into the King's presence to request the life of her people be spared.

David: was anointed as king of Israel, and then WAITED through exile and persecution FOR HIS APPOINTED TIME to rule.

Post Resurrection Church: went through the heinous crucifixion of Christ, rumored resurrection of the Messiah, and then WAITED FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT to descend and impart Christ's anointing power.

New Testament Church: AWAITS THE PROMISE & final return of Christ.

Waiting appears to be a theme in the vision becoming reality, right? So, how do we wait well in the midst of the valley experiences? September 5th's exert from My Utmost for His Highest had an interesting viewpoint on WAITING WELL - I know it is long, but it is worth it, so keep readingJ.

Watching with Jesus
"Stay hear and watch with Me." ~ Matthew 26:38

Watch with Me. Jesus was saying in effect, "Watch with no private point of view at all, but watch solely and entirely with Me." In the early stage of our Christian life, we do not watch with Jesus, we watch for Him. We do not watch with Him through the revealed truth of the Bible even in the circumstance of our own lives. Our Lord is trying to introduce us to identification with Himself through a particular "Gethsemane" experience of our own. But we refuse to go, saying "No, Lord, I can't see the meaning of this, and besides, it's very painful." And how can we possibly watch with Someone who is so incomprehensibly? How are we going to understand Jesus sufficiently to watch with Him in His Gethsemane, when we don't even know why He is suffering? We don't know how to watch with Him - we are only used to the idea of Jesus watching with us.

The disciples loved Jesus Christ to the limit of their natural capacity, but they did not fully understand His purpose. In the Garden of Gethsemane they slept as a result of their own sorrow, and at the end of three years of the closest and most intimate relationship of their lives they "all... forsook Him and fled" (26:56)

"They were all filled with the Holy Spirit..." (Acts 2:4). "They" refers to the same people, but something wonderful has happened between these two events - our Lord's death, Resurrection, and Ascension - and the disciples have now been invaded and "filled with the Holy Spirit." Our Lord had said, "You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you..." (Acts 1:8). This meant that they learned to watch with Him the rest of their lives.

Here is what I am thinking… if my learning to wait WITH God is how the vision becomes reality IN ME? I am wondering if waiting beside the Lord, resting in His presence, and learning to see what He sees is apart of the "becoming process.” I am wondering if when I stop chasing the transformation, so that I might look the part, and simply sit beside Him, if that is when the transformation of who I am takes place.

I once heard a teacher say, "whatever you see in public, that you admire and respect, was learned in private through struggle and turmoil.” Personally, I long for moments like the day David gallantly fought and killed Goliath with one stone. The catch is that I am often unwilling to WAIT and LEARN in the field with the sheep, instead choosing to perform for an applauding audience! I am finding, however, that only after the loneliness and heartache of the valley, am I able to:

• Know God is able to slay my Goliath.
• Walk out onto the battlefield.
• Give God the glory after The Vision Becomes Reality!!!

Today’s Focus:

1. Stay put...
“Stay here and watch with Me.” Matthew 26:38

2. Watch with Jesus and see what He sees.

“Stay here and watch with Me.” Matthew 26:38

What? instead of Why?

Since my last post, I have not been able to get this picture out of my mind. Seeing it reminds me… this is not the first time my sister and I have encountered joy and sorrow, within the same moment.

Several years ago, my sister received a shocking diagnosis which resulted in multiple surgeries, extreme pain, and required a dynamic life change. My wedding day was AMAZING, truly everything I would have wanted it to be, but my day of rejoicing was also physically painful for my sister. Isn’t it weird how when we are hurting or experience loss, we forget that joy and sorrow have come in the same moment before? It was just that the last time, I was standing on the other side of the pain.

My sister is one of the most amazing women I know, and I am blessed beyond measure to have her as my sister, I am also challenged by the way she has walked through her own personal journey. One thing I have noticed is that over time she stopped asking the Lord “why” and began to ask “what.” What was/is the Lord saying, doing, leading, etc? This transition may seem insignificant, but in practice it has and I believe will change everything.

~ Asking “Why” ~

• Often has no answer or an answer which does not remove the sting of pain.
• Often leads to feeling sorry for ourselves or to play the role of a victim.
• Often means our focus is more inward than outward, making it difficult to fully see and appreciate the entire picture.

~ Asking “What” ~

• Offers an openness to hear, as opposed to a position of demanding justification.
• Offers hope and a possibility for the future.
• Opens our eyes and our hearts to see outside ourselves & our current situation, making it possible for joy to enter our sorrow.

Recently, I was reading through a Bible study entitled “Believing God.” An illustration was given which I love. The author describes how she often goes hunting with her husband (crazy I know, but follow me for the sake of the story). I imagine she is not an experienced hunter, so when she cannot see the prey, her husband will stand behind her with one hand on one of her shoulders and with the other arm in front of her, he will point toward the prey. Then he will say, “Elizabeth, follow my arm all the way to the tip of my finger and you will see what I see.” The author references this story in relation to how God sees what we cannot, and how there is always a bigger picture in view, if you can just see further down the line.

Is that not a beautiful picture? Can you imagine God standing behind us right now, with one hand on our shoulder, and one finger pointed forward, gently whispering in our ear, “follow my arm all the way to the point of My finger and you will see… a promise, a hope for the future. Sometimes, I forget there is something further down the line than the moment I am currently standing in. Sometimes, I forget He is weaving a tapestry together for my sanctification and for His ultimate glory. And in the midst of this, I am wondering if it might help to ask “what” God is saying, doing, and leading me to, instead of “why” He has allowed this to happen.

Today’s Focus:

1. Ask “What” instead of “Why.”

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

2. Spend time with the Lord, and listen for what He may be saying.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for He is with me; His rod and His staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4

3. Trust there is hope and a future beyond this moment.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Family Values

As I sit here, writing, I feel emotions that may wash over me, rising just beneath the surface. I have a multitude of thoughts running through my mind, but only one seems to encompass them all… how Family Values affect Loss. Let me clarify, what I mean is how family values affect our response to tragedy, trouble, and loss.

While I was pregnant, I had a conversation with a dear friend about how parents foster relationships between siblings. Her answer lingers with me still... “You must decide what it means to be a Ricchuiti with Tim, and then you have to teach your children what it means to be a Ricchuiti.” What she meant was teaching your Family Values; in particular the importance of family and genuine relationship with each other.

As Tim and I discussed this idea later that night, we inevitability discussed what it had meant to be a Ricchuiti or Vogtner within our individual homes growing up. Tim and I are still in the process of defining what it means to be a Ricchuiti for our family, but I can clearly tell you what it means to be a Vogtner (my maiden name).

Being a Vogtner means:

• You stick together as a family… NO MATTER WHAT!
• When life gets tough (and it will), run to the Lord for strength, guidance, and comfort.
• At the end of the day, God is Faithful, and somehow, someway everything will be ok (even if that means the results are different than you thought they would be).

I could go on and on with the specifics of Vogtner-hood, but for the most part these are the Family Values that have stuck with me into adulthood. I am thankful for the legacy I have listed above, in fact the longer I live the more I realize the gift my parents gave me in relationship to family. But as with every family, there are always distortions of the truth we carry with us. For me, the above Family Values also translated into “be strong… no matter what, just get through it!” And with this belief, I often encounter crisis with the primary goal of surviving in strength, looking as though I am unfazed by whatever is thrown my way.

As I have encountered loss over the last few months, I have noticed that I have not leaned and gleaned on the Lord’s strength, but have instead shut down emotionally and imitated the God strength I have seen others portray. You see there is something difficult for me about approaching God in crisis, because it means I must surrender and will be completely out of control. I fear the result will be me not looking strong, not looking unfazed, and not looking as though I have it all together.

The reason I have been pondering the idea of Family Values and Loss, is because this weekend I am in Nashville, visiting my beautiful sister and her beautiful newborn babies. As my sister begins to teach her little ones her Family Values, I anticipate experiencing sadness because Tim & I have not yet had this privilege.

The back drop to this weekend isthat two weeks ago Tim & I lost our third pregnancy in less than a year. All week, I have been thinking one thing, how can I be strong and unmoved emotionally when I see those little fingers and toes and am at the hospital to rejoice with my baby sister. In the back of my head, I just keep thinking at all cost I must be strong and unmoved so I can do the “right thing,” rejoice with my sister. But in reality, that is not possible. I can not be unmoved emotionally and genuinely rejoicing with my sister. Those two ideas contradict each other. In order for me to do the “right thing” I must feel the genuine sadness in me so that I might be genuine in my rejoicing for my sister.

Anybody else see the train headed for the cliff here? In my own strength, the sadness will overtake me and I will be unable to rejoice with someone else (even my own sister). BUT for God!!! This weekend, I am praying and believing that I will be able to feel genuine sadness and yet rejoicing!

Today’s Focus:

1. Admit the reality of my weakness, sadness, and inability to rejoice, and trust in God’s power/ability in me to mourn and yet rejoice!

BUT He (God) has told me, "My grace is all you need, because my power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, I will most happily boast about my weaknesses, so that the Messiah's power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9

2. Allow others (specifically my family) to mourn with me, just as I am rejoicing with my sister.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Rom. 12:15

3. Trust in God’s promise to me personally during this time.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matt. 5:4

4. Hope in the assurance that this season will not always be.

There is an appointed time for everything. A time to give birth and a time to die, and a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal, and a time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh, and a time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones, and a time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost, and a time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together, and a time to be silent and a time to speak. Ecc. 3:1-7